Valentine's Day is around the corner, and for a moment the world will be focused on love, sweet, chocolaty love, love wrapped in floral paper and diamonds and words that are borrowed, ... love that is commercialised and doesn't always feel real...
To be fair, I think one of the most complex things in life is our relationship with love. We all need and want to be loved and often cling to romantic notions of the perfect loving family and partner that over time (and conditioning) we came to believe was not only possible, but an important part of "normal" healthy relationships. Deep down, even though we suspected that it was unrealistic, when it fails to materialise in our lives we can feel some degree of disappointment, failure, or resentment ... Oh boy ... so many issues, so little time...
I for one am bored with the pretence that love is some magical potion that transforms our lives into fairy tales. The love I see demonstrated, the love I have experienced, is much more grounded in mindful actions, generosity, effort, and at times, sacrifice. Love, whether it be romantic or otherwise, is more often a little messy and filled with both sweet and bitter moments ( hmm...so in a way it is like chocolate.)
In a spiritual sense, love may be who we are at our core, but, in a more realistic sense, love is also attached to strong emotions and individual beliefs which often causes it to appear lost in the midst of daily challenges and stress. It is like a gemstone that does not shine as brightly as it once did, a little tarnished with time and neglect.
Even though love does not live up to idealised stereotypes and may not shine brightly all the time, I find it uplifting that if you look carefully, you can still see the little flickers of love in almost every relationship. It is there in the phone calls made between friends and family, it is there in the generosity of grandparents who take care of their grandchildren, and in the hockey parent's crazy schedules. It is also the driving force behind family gatherings and in the thoughtful daily gestures made by our partners. Love shines every day in the hearts of friends and family who attend weddings, showers, birthday parties, recitals, etc.
Even though it can be complicated at times, one of the wonderful things about loving one another is that it doesn't take heroic efforts. As a matter of fact, it can be expressed best in simple daily routines, when we help one another, when we choose kind words, and when we take the time to listen to and understand each another.
Although we do not always acknowledge these flickers of light for what they are, these daily acts of love are strongly rooted in our relationships and a testament to the little gem that, despite a little tarnish, shines faithfully within each of us, whether it is Valentine's Day or not...
With love and gratitude for all the love I have been blessed with in my life!!
Love
love is the hidden gem
that brings light
to our life
it is simple kindness,
gentle words,
and quiet compassion,
love
is what we do
every day...
pbowman
pbowman
